how LGBTQ+ foster families are shaping the future in wales

Fostering is a beautiful way to make a difference in a child’s life, and in Wales, more members of the LGBTQ+ community are becoming foster families. As of January 2025, there are over 50 LGBTQ+ households fostering with Foster Wales, and this number is growing every year.

But, what does it take to become a foster carer, and what are the unique aspects of LGBTQ+ fostering?

47-year-old A, a foster carer for over 4 years, has shared their experience of fostering too.

Let’s dive in.

can gay couples foster?

Absolutely! Whether you’re single, in a couple, married, or living together, you can foster. You may already have children at home but you don’t need any prior parenting experience to foster.

If you’re applying as a couple and it’s a new relationship, you’ll need to have been living together for at least six months before starting the assessment together. But don’t worry, you can gather information and prepare at any time.

“You don’t necessarily need prior childcare experience to become a foster parent, but it can be beneficial. You may have a wealth of informal childcare experience which comes from various everyday activities and roles, such as babysitting or looking after family or friends’ children.

While prior experience with children isn’t mandatory, the training and support provided aim to equip you with the necessary skills to care for foster children.

At the time of my fostering assessment, I was single, and my youngest child had just moved into their own home. My children fed into the assessment process providing ‘personal statements’ about me as a parent.“

balancing work and fostering

One common question is whether one partner needs to give up work. The good news is that working and fostering can go hand in hand. You’ll just need an understanding employer, some flexibility, and time.

Some couples choose to reduce their working hours or have one partner stop working, but this depends on your financial situation and the type of fostering you choose.

Read more: Can you work full time and be a foster parent?

“For me I work part time (3 days a week) and am fortunate to have flexible working arrangements which also includes work from home a lot of the time. When I was single and living alone with a foster child, I was able to balance home and work life as the foster child had good attendance at school.”

fostering vs. adoption

Deciding between fostering and adoption depends on what you want in life. Do you want to be a permanent parent, or do you want to have children in your life in a more flexible way?

Fostering can fit around your lifestyle and work, allowing you to care for older, more independent young people or even foster part-time.

Adoption, on the other hand, typically involves younger children and babies and is a more permanent commitment.

Read more: 5 differences between fostering and adopting

what are the advantages of LGBTQ+ fostering?

There are several advantages to LGBTQ+ fostering:

• Your relationship with the child might be easier if you’re not seen as trying to replace their parents.
• Some LGBTQ+ foster carers, and particularly as a male couple, have also experienced a really positive relationship with birth mum for the same reason.
• You might better understand the discrimination or challenges that care-experienced young people face and be well-placed to support young people with their own sexuality.
• When fostering LGBTQ+ youth, you can be a role model.

Foster Wales also offers free gold membership to New Family Social, providing LGBTQ+ specific support

“Absolutely, there are several advantages to being an LGBTQ+ foster carer. We are able to share our unique perspectives and experiences that can help foster children understand and appreciate diversity and inclusivity.

Being open about our sexuality has allowed young people to share with us about their own thoughts and feelings. A twelve-year-old shared with us that they were bi-sexual, as they felt comfortable that we were open, accepting and wouldn’t judge in anyway.”

what are the disadvantages of LGBTQ+ fostering?

Honestly, it’s hard to think of any significant disadvantages.

Social workers and foster carers are some of the most open-minded people you’ll work with, and you’re unlikely to face discrimination.

Despite this, and the number of LGBTQ+ foster carers increasing, most foster carers are still in their 50s and are white heterosexual couples. This means that while some areas have many LGBTQ+ foster carers, others might not.

Additionally, some LGBTQ+ specific support events might require travel.

“I have not faced any specific challenges as an LGBTQ+ foster carer. My initial fostering journey was as a single carer. I met my current partner a few months after approval. Neither of us experienced any negativity, discrimination or prejudice from the community, other foster parents, or even within the foster care system itself. We have felt supported in our role and have access to support networks such as supervising social worker, peer mentors, access to training and support groups. We are not treated any differently to any other foster carer. We are respected, listened to and valued.”

confidentiality and support

Your sexuality is clearly your own business, and you have a right to privacy. However, you need to be prepared to be open about it in the context of fostering.

When you start your assessment, you’ll be assigned a social worker who will gather information about you and your life. To understand your needs, and to be able to support you, it’s a good idea to be open with your assessor from the beginning.

This information is then compiled into a report seen only by those who need to approve your fostering application. You’ll see a copy of this report before it is shared.

Your openness and honesty are even more important when you are fostering a child. We are not suggesting that carers should automatically tell a child in their care what their sexuality is. This will also depend on the age and understanding of the child you are caring for. But children, especially those who are care-experienced, are excellent detectives.

If you are questioned by a young person and not honest, or if a child finds out in another way, this could affect their trust in you. Alternatively, a young person could try to use this information as leverage to get their own way, placing you in a vulnerable position.

So, carers need to be prepared to be open.

“Discussing your sexuality during the fostering process is important for several reasons. You are who you are and being open and transparent about your sexuality and all aspects of your life is important in demonstrating your integrity. You have gained so many transferable skills throughout your life that can be a benefit to you as a foster carer. Don’t hide who you are or what you have to offer or are willing to learn. Knowing your sexuality can help match you with children who might benefit from your understanding and support.”

already adopted? you can still foster!

If you’ve already adopted, you can still foster.
As an adopter, you will understand how important foster carers were in your child’s early days in care. You will have met foster carers during introductions to your child and perhaps still keep in touch. The knowledge that you will have built as an adopter will be invaluable in fostering.
While you will need to go through another assessment, some of your original adoption assessment can be used to ensure an efficient process.

could you help a child?

LGBTQ+ fostering in Wales is on the rise, and it’s a fantastic way to make a positive impact on a child’s life. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, working or not, fostering can fit into your life and provide a rewarding experience.

If you’re considering fostering, reach out to Foster Wales to learn more and start your journey today! 🌈👨‍👨‍👧‍👦👩‍👩‍👧‍👦

read more:

Our Loving Home: LGBTQ+ Foster Carers – foster wales cardiff

LGBTQ + Fostering: Arron and Matt’s story – foster wales blaenau gwent

foster carers zahra and annie share their fostering journey for lgbtq+ adoption and fostering week

love without boundaries: kate and lisa’s journey as lgbtq+ foster carers – foster wales wrexham

Fostering together by becoming a foster carer with my partner – foster wales neath port talbot

Adoption, Fostering & Tea: The New Family Social Podcast | Podcast on Spotify