Historically, respite care was designed to give full-time foster parents temporary support with their foster care duties. While most families have the support of their wider family and friends when it comes to babysitting for a night out or a weekend away, this isn’t always available or feasible. This type of care provides an alternative solution for many foster carers.
While the core intention behind respite care for children is to give foster carers a chance to recharge so they continue to give children the best possible support, these short breaks also come with benefits for the young people. They show them varied family environments, and other adults who care, which can be a valuable part of their development.
With all this in mind, we believe ‘respite care’ should have a name which reflects its benefits for everyone involved.
Here at Foster Wales, we believe that language can significantly impact how both children and carers view their experiences within the fostering community.
For a long time, organisations across the country have referred to temporary breaks from full-time foster care as ‘respite care’. However, we are working to shift the narrative towards a more child-focused, compassionate approach by introducing terms such as ‘short breaks’ or ‘stayovers’ instead.
We feel this term better reflects the benefits of a positive break to everyone involved, and our care experienced young people agree.
why the respite care meaning matters
In 2019, TACT shared a report titled Language that Cares, where young people shared their views on how language affects them.
The overall aim was to change the language of the care system for the better, shifting away from the negative connotations carried by terms like ‘respite care’ for children.
Many of the young people in our care have expressed dislike for the term, sharing that they’d rather see this type of foster care referred to as a break for children (not carers). They prefer terms that capture the positive side of respite care, such as a day out, home away from home, a stayover or a sleepover.
“[‘Respite care’] can be offensive as it means an escape or a break from something that is not enjoyable.” – York Young People
At Foster Wales, we prefer the phrase short break, rather than respite care. By reframing part-time foster care in this way, we are hoping to change the focus from the carers needing to take time off to providing young people with the necessary support.
This shift will also reduce stigma and reaffirm with foster children that they are valued, especially in settings like school, where talking about ‘respite’ can alienate them from their classmates.
“This word does not make much sense. It is too formal and not a word we use every day.” – York Young People
benefits of short breaks for children and carers
For the remainder of this blog, and in our conversations with you, we will aim to refer to respite care as short breaks, stayovers, sleepovers, or weekend fostering. Our hope is for stayovers to be a positive break for everyone, similar to school friends visiting their aunts and uncles.
As we mentioned above, short breaks have so many benefits to everyone involved – here, we look at some of them in more detail:
short break benefits to the full time foster carer
Short breaks give foster carers a chance to recharge so they can carry on providing the best possible care for children. For foster carers, this support can be crucial, especially during school holidays, or when they need to attend events that don’t necessarily accommodate children.
When caring for children who have experienced trauma, having assistance from someone who understands and is aware of the children’s behaviour, the care system, and the rules you need to follow as a foster carer is reassuring.
This support isn’t limited to visions of large overwhelmed foster families either. Respite care for single parents who foster, especially those in full-time work, or kinship foster carers can be invaluable.
During more challenging situations, a short break is also a chance to calm down a fraught situation, decompress, and step back – a time-out for both the foster family and the young people.
Short breaks enable full time foster carers to take time off from their care duties to attend adult-only events, as well as spend one-to-one time with their own children, partner or family members. In many cases, this empowers foster carers to continue offering high-quality care to their foster children.
short break benefits to children and young people
Through short breaks, children and young people get to experience varied family environments. Meeting other adults who care can be a valuable part of their development.
Plus, they get to try out different activities that might not be part of their regular routine. Whether it’s learning how to bake or getting hands-on with a new hobby, the fresh environment can be enriching.
short break benefits to foster carer’s own children
This type of support also has an added benefit for the children of full-time foster carers who open their homes to young people in need of care. While they might often have to wait their turn when a social worker is on the phone, and pitch in with supporting their foster siblings, through short breaks they can schedule some one-to-one time with their parents.
short break benefits to new foster carers
For anyone new to fostering, offering short breaks is also an excellent first step into fostering, as it can be structured around your availability, and can serve as a gentle introduction between you, your own children, and fostering.
The part-time foster carers providing short breaks also get plenty of personal fulfilment. From the chance to support their community while maintaining a more flexible level of commitment to meeting a whole host of children and young people they can build strong relationships with, short break carers experience the many joys of fostering first-hand.
What’s more, they are still a fully approved foster carer and part of our community, meaning they can still access the same great local support and development opportunities as any other foster carer. As well as the option to choose to increase their levels of fostering easily in the future.
“Supporting other foster carers, on a part-time basis, gave me the insight into what fostering is all about, how the system works, the support that’s out there from both the local authority and other foster carers.”What started off as short breaks soon became short breaks and emergency support. Then, after several chats with my supervising social worker, and my own manager in work, I said yes, let’s give short-term fostering a go.
If you’d told me back then, over three years ago, that I’d have a teenage boy living with me now, I’d have laughed out loud and said no chance, it’ll never happen! I’ve now had over 30 children through my doors, staying for a night or three, or for two weeks, or a year and counting…
I love my role as a foster carer, and I can’t believe the journey I’ve been on. I wouldn’t change it for the world, even the challenges.”
– Foster carer
short break benefits to birth families
Short breaks can be beneficial to birth families too.
This is especially true for birth parents with children who have disabilities, as it provides a family circle that they may not have.
Offering birth families a short break can help them through challenging times or a difficult period.
foster care pay for weekends and stayovers
Often, the opportunity to help a foster family in need is enough of a reward, but our part-time carers also receive an allowance for the child’s stay to cover food, petrol, and any adventures they embark on together.
our tips for successful short breaks
- Schedule some regular “me-time” before you need it, rather than waiting until you are at breaking point
- Use the breaks for some quiet recharge time, rather than planning an exciting experience together as a family without the foster child, to avoid them feeling excluded
- Explain the reason for the break in a positive way to the child i.e. a sleepover
- Arrange introductions and pre-visits
- Share your usual rules and routine with the part-time foster carers, so they can try to follow the guidelines, with some flexibility
- Make sure the part-time foster carer is the right match for the child/family
- Schedule regular children’s visits, letting their part-time carers be a constant in their life, stay in touch, and be interested in them
- Communicate before and after the visit
short breaks success stories
Kiri Pritchard-McLean, a comedian and local authority foster carer in Wales, has been providing short breaks with her partner for the last three years, and comedically describes their role as “floating babysitters” and “weekend dadding it”.
In an article in the Metro, Kiri said: “It’s been a thrilling, challenging and edifying three years and the more we do it, the more we realise this is exactly what family looks like to us.
“We’ve hosted a range of teenagers on short breaks that have lasted anywhere from a few hours to a few weeks.”
In a parenting podcast with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe, Kiri explained further: “In the best scenario, where they come and meet you first, and they see the house, and we’ve got a couple of bedrooms they can pick from.”
“They’ve got ground rules that are in their house. The young people we’re having, we’re taking them from another foster family. We’re consistent. A bit like if you’re babysitting. And then again there’s a bit of leeway.
“And now I feel like I’ve got this beautiful thing where I’ve got these amazing young people coming in and out of our lives and it’s so nice. They always want to come back, and you know, it’s really beautiful.”
short breaks care with foster wales
If you would like to be an aunt or uncle figure, a full-time foster carer’s friend who understands, a trained and equipped foster carer, and a reliable person in the lives of children and families alike, we’d love to hear how fostering at weekends and school holidays could fit into your life.
Contact our team to find out more about offering short breaks with Foster Wales.
